Another Constable

As long as you use a handsfree kit!

I’m sure it won’t have escaped your notice that since yesterday, using a mobile phone whilst driving now incurs the wrath of 3 penalty points on your license and a £60 fine (doubled from the current £30). And about time if you ask me. You only have to catch a glimpse of a car veering out of it’s lane or trying to do roundabouts in as many straight lines as possible to know that the foolish driver is on a mobile.

It’s one of the few offences where I have no tolerance. In my eyes it’s worse than speeding. I break the speed limit every single day, perfectly safely, as part of my job. I cannot say the same about my ability to use a mobile phone and remain safe.

Bus drivers and HGV drivers who use the phone (and I’ve seen many) are clearly taking bigger risks. As such the maximum penalty for those people when taken to court rather than given a fixed penalty is £2500 and 6 penalty points. Not really worth risking your job over is it chaps?

So, no excuses. However, these are some of the genuine discussions I’ve had with drivers in recent weeks whilst issuing fixed penalties.

MAN - But I wasn’t using my phone.
ME - I saw it in your hand, in front of your face, lighting you up like a Christmas tree, and you were looking at your phone and not the road.
MAN - I know, but I was only reading a text message, I wasn’t using my phone.

WOMAN - I only answered it to say that I was driving and that I’d ring them back.
ME - I’ve just followed you for half a mile and you were on it the whole time.
WOMAN - She couldn’t hear me so I had to keep repeating myself.

MAN - Aren’t you allowed to use a phone in an emergency?
ME - Yes you are, for genuine emergencies and when you have no ability to stop. Who were you on the phone to?
MAN - My wife. I was just telling her I’ll be late picking her up.
ME - Hardly a genuine emergency is it?
MAN - It is, she’ll f**king batter me.

WOMAN - I haven’t even got a phone. I must have been scratching my head or moving my hair or something.
(phone rings)
ME - What’s that then?
WOMAN - That’s my daughters phone.
ME - Where’s your daughter? (the car is empty apart from the driver)
WOMAN - At school.
ME - So you’re lying to me really aren’t you?
WOMAN - Yes, sorry, I panicked.

ME - I saw you holding a Sony Ericsson W800i. It’s the same phone I have. I know what it looks like.
MAN - I haven’t got my phone with me so you must be seeing things mate. Anyway, I’ve got a Nokia.
ME - What’s that on the floor by your feet?
MAN - What?
ME - That Sony Ericsson W800i in your footwell. Did you just drop it there?
MAN - Oh, that’s where it got to. I didn’t know where it was. I thought I’d left it at home.
ME - I thought you had a Nokia.
MAN - Oh for f**ks sake, just give me the f**king ticket then.

WOMAN - Can’t I just have a warning?
ME - Nope, sorry. I treat everyone the same. Why should I give you a warning when I’ve given 3 other people tickets this morning in the same circumstances. That’s hardly fair is it? Besides, a warning is no deterrent. In 5 minutes you’ll be back on the phone again anyway. A £30 fine will help you focus your mind. In about a week’s time it’ll be £60 and 3 points so it’s a timely reminder for you (I was obviously in lecture mode that day).
WOMAN - Ok, I’m sorry.
5 minutes later, I see the same vehicle, with the same woman driving, on her phone again.
ME - What did I just say? Proves my point that a warning would have been useless. Even a £30 fine doesn’t make you see sense.
WOMAN - I was just telling my mate that I’ve just been pulled by the bizzies and got a ticket thanks to her ringing me.
ME - Well, thanks to you ringing her, you’ve got another one. This time why not wait until you get home to tell her all about it.

Silly people.